for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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