batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
