Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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