Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
