He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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