Acid is not a monday night drug
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
did i just pee glitter
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
