Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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