We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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