I'm going to jail i love you
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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