i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
