I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
