i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
