he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And then my night got REAL pukey
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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