what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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