im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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