I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
