im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
