Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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