Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
