Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
