I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
