***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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