My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sex in the backyard? Check.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
