do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
