thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
