I'm going to jail i love you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
