I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
