If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
