check it out our google latitudes are spooning
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
