no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
