The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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