This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
