a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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