Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
