They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
