.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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