So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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