I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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