More tranny stories later!
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize