Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
