am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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