no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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