Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
