Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
