Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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