Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
