The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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