If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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