ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize