whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
