Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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