He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
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