ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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