Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
