i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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