I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So vagazzling was a success
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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