Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm like, not good at living.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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