i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think i got beer on your cat.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
