Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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