when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
