She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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